It's Friendship, Friendship

Just a perfect blendship, 

When other friendships have been forgot 

Ours will still be hot! 

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig. 

As we close the books on 2012, I'm taking a moment today to pay tribute to Friendships. I've been blessed with the most amazing group of friends. They are from all walks of life, of many ages, different backgrounds and of varying political and religious views but each and every one of them have brought many blessings to my life and for that I am truly thankful. 2012 has been a year I have faced challenges the likes of which I never could have imagined and never saw coming. Through the trials I faced, my amazing friends have been there every step of the way, praying for me to find peace and strength, holding my hand-figuratively and literally, talking me off the ledge and keeping me grounded and sane. My wish for 2013 is to be as good a friend to each of mine as they have been to me! God bless my friends, may they find peace, love and joy in the New Year!

Negative Nellies

Oh those negative people who see only the bad side of things and who so want to drag you down into their pit of negativity and despair. They dislike everything and everyone and could do everything better than everyone else. You know who I'm talking about and one or two of you might even be considered by some in your social circle to be the negative one. Sucks, huh. Okay, so how do we deal with the people in our lives who have a negative mindset? I have a short list of things I do to lessen the impact of their negative influence on me:

1. Try to ignore the comments. I know this lasts for about 10 seconds before your brain fires back with you with to "open your mouth and say something!", but sometimes just ignoring the comments can be enough to shut them down for a while.
2. Since ignoring is usually short-lived and may even put a "target on your back",  try gently and with a loving attitude pointing out the "error of their thinking". For example when your Negative Nellie (NN for short) shoots down the local TV anchor for wearing too much highlighter under her eyes point out that she probably only does that for TV and doesn't walk into Starbucks looking like that on her day off. 
3. Remind your NN that God loves us one and all just the way he created us to be. It's not our job to judge others, only to love and accept them the way Jesus would if he were standing there with you. You'd be surprised how well this can work to shut down the NN in their tracks, at least for a little while, of course if they have a negative view of Christians this may backfire and your NN will now have a new target for their negative comments. I know this because, sadly, it has happened to me. Doesn't mean I'll quit reminding people of God's love though!
4. Be a good example and lift up others in your NN's presence. Sadly, there are some women who take joy in knocking each other down based on how they compare to current media's examples of fully photoshopped and/or surgically altered women, show your NN how there is beauty in everything and everyone. If you can, use your NN as an example, point out their fabulously curly hair or gorgeous green eyes or how they have an incredible knack for interior design.
5. And let's say your NN proclaims to hate all green vegetables and can't see why anyone would want to eat the foul things counter back with "that's fine not to eat them, that leaves more for those of us who love green veggies and I'll gladly eat your share". 

But what happens when showing loving kindness and setting a good example to NN's doesn't stop the negative comments from spewing out their pie hole??? Then it's time to decide how much time you really want to spend with your NN. Is it possible to limit your exposure to them to only times when it can't be avoided? I've found if the items on my short list don't cut it then it's time to cut down time spent with them. This may require some hard work on your part and even the unpleasant and hopefully very rare telling of a "little white lie". Not a favorite tacit of mine, but I have had to feign a headache/stomach/cramps to get out of a social engagement that a NN in my life was hosting. Some days I'm just not up to dealing with their unbridled negative comments about the entire world-and it makes me sad that they just can't get past their own soured world view and lighten up a little bit. I've also learned that you just can't change people, you can only change how you respond to them and there are times not having to respond is the best option in order to maintain you own good mental health. And above all, let us not forget to pray for our NN, ask God to help them find love in their heart and peace in their life.

And on that note...I'm outta here!